Back in the day, I remember watching a yogi demonstrating the cobra. He started the way most of us start, on our stomach, lifting up through the chest and head, stretching open as the chest reached for the sky, legs planted in the ground below.
Then he kept lifting his torso more and more, continuing to lift and bend back.... and back.
Stretching and bending even more until the back of his head was touching the back of his butt.
Can you picture that?
Leaving the retreat that day, I realized as hard as I might try I wouldn’t be able to shape shift myself into being something I wasn't.
Then I realized… here I am trying to fit in. Seeing someone else be “it” and thinking I should be “that.”
In some ways this was the story of my life.
Always looking into the world out there, sensing what was going on.
Attuning to what “they” wanted and then trying to become that.
(Anyone else like that? :) It was one of the early imprinting of my life. I had tried forever to be a “good girl” so my parents would love me and approve of me.
Then that stopped working.
Now that I am in my 60s I am still finding remnants of that early imprinting. Places where it dawns on me that I still act out of that conditioning: to be someone that others would want.
That process squashed some of myself. Sometimes big ways. Often in small ways.
I found myself exhausted.
It perpetuated a cycle of striving to be someone I thought I should be do that I would (cross my fingers) finally get my needs met. Needs of approval, connection, belonging, value, fitting in, care.... oh all those fundamental attachment needs I never got growing up.
I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people and I’m intrigued with what I’m hearing.
Something is emerging.
Out of the pandemic, something new is arising.
I’d love to get your thoughts about it is you are picking up, seeing, feeling, and how these changes are effecting you.
I read every single one. It’s one of the wonderful ways I get to connect with you.
Here’s the link to send me your thoughts: https://output.bucket.io/ds/56284749
if it’s easier, just hit reply and write an email directly to me.